On being an American Christian that is not offended by secular America
Before any of you progressives or liberals think, “Yay, she is on our team,” because of the title of this post, let me clarify that I’m not on anyone’s “team”. I used to think I was a “conservative evangelical Christian”, but Donald Trump ruined me of that. I have since decided this whole process of self-classification is a sham because classification changes with the wind. I am what I am and I believe what I believe, which is the Bible. My identity is in Christ and in nothing else. No other labels necessary. Period.
These days, it comes as no surprise to me when the world, defined according to scripture as being not “of God” (see 1 John 2:16), makes choices that are not inline with scriptural definitions of godliness and purity.
This is not your mama's America anymore.
Let there be no mistake. America is not a Christian nation. This is not your mama’s America anymore. Oh, I believe it started that way. I believe our country was founded on Christian principles, and should forever be governed morally, and I believe true morality is found is scripture. But being a country of human beings, who are “of the world”, we should not be surprised when our country descends into governance by moral parameters that are not in line with the moral law laid out in Scripture.
I’m not talking about homosexuality here, or gender identification, or any of today’s hot topics, I’m talking in general. I repeat, we are not your mama’s America anymore. And we shouldn’t be surprised when our American brothers and sisters, who are in charge of corporate policies, govern their American businesses in ways that glamorize, defend, and protect people (or sins) that seem out of line with scripture.
Moving on.
I grew up in Japan where my parents served as missionaries for 25 years. I saw some pretty questionable things growing up. Yes, bathrooms were separate, but the architecture of bathroom entrances allowed you to have full view of nearly everything happening on the other side of the divide. I was two years old when we moved to Japan and I remember, from a very young age, my sisters giggling and saying, “Ew,” as we walked into bathrooms with my mom yanking our arms, telling us to avert our eyes from the men’s side, and hurrying us into the restrooms.
For your reference:
Photo by David McKelvey from Brisbane, Australia - Japanese Style Public Loo, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=30623950
I also remember riding to school on trains and buses for four hours each day (wrap your minds around THAT when you complain about the challenges of schooling in the States). Several times a week I would sit next to men who would have their legs and arms spread as wide apart as humanly possible as they read their daily newspapers. The porn page usually ended up in my lap. Yep, whole pages of porn.
I also remember riding to school on trains and buses for four hours each day (wrap your minds around THAT when you complain about the challenges of schooling in the States). Several times a week I would sit next to men who would have their legs and arms spread as wide apart as humanly possible as they read their daily newspapers. The porn page usually ended up in my lap. Yep, whole pages of porn.
**Newspaper invasion is/was totally a thing: This 1979 poster pays tribute to the extremely popular Space Invaders video arcade game and encourages passengers to read their newspapers without invading the space of other passengers.
I remember being about 11 years old and seeing a man humping the train station floor. I didn’t know what he was doing but I remember my big sister grabbing my arm and telling me to avert my eyes.
<I’ll let your mental picture suffice on that one>
I remember friends getting fondled in crowded train cars on a regular basis. There was nothing you could really do about it. No place to move, nowhere to go, no one really cared if you spoke up. (Thankfully, Japan has changed a lot since then and they now how women’s train cars where women have the luxury of avoiding that sort of everyday permissible perversion.)
I remember going to bath houses (OH HOW I MISS THEM) and being aware that certain times of day, usually evenings, the female Onsens would likely be visited by men. I avoided those times of day.
And lastly, as a high schooler, I remember when friends would visit from the States, and I would give them tours of my stomping grounds, I was oblivious as we walked down streets filled with pornographic billboards. My American friends would be in shock from the images plastered all over the place, but I was blind to their very existence because I had grown desensitized.
Where am I going with this?
Here it is: my parents were Christians doing a very “Christian” thing, by being missionaries in a foreign land. Right now Americans are saying that the real Christian thing to do is to keep our kids and families from being exposed to the perversion of “the world”. I would argue the opposite. Of course, we believers are not, and should not be, “of this world”, however, Christ, in His final days, very clearly prayed for us as we go INTO the world. Because as Christ-following believers, IF we follow Him, that is exactly where He will lead us- into the world. We may not be OF it, but we can’t escape going INTO it, if we are following Him.
I give you John 17:14-19:
I remember being about 11 years old and seeing a man humping the train station floor. I didn’t know what he was doing but I remember my big sister grabbing my arm and telling me to avert my eyes.
<I’ll let your mental picture suffice on that one>
I remember friends getting fondled in crowded train cars on a regular basis. There was nothing you could really do about it. No place to move, nowhere to go, no one really cared if you spoke up. (Thankfully, Japan has changed a lot since then and they now how women’s train cars where women have the luxury of avoiding that sort of everyday permissible perversion.)
I remember going to bath houses (OH HOW I MISS THEM) and being aware that certain times of day, usually evenings, the female Onsens would likely be visited by men. I avoided those times of day.
And lastly, as a high schooler, I remember when friends would visit from the States, and I would give them tours of my stomping grounds, I was oblivious as we walked down streets filled with pornographic billboards. My American friends would be in shock from the images plastered all over the place, but I was blind to their very existence because I had grown desensitized.
Where am I going with this?
Here it is: my parents were Christians doing a very “Christian” thing, by being missionaries in a foreign land. Right now Americans are saying that the real Christian thing to do is to keep our kids and families from being exposed to the perversion of “the world”. I would argue the opposite. Of course, we believers are not, and should not be, “of this world”, however, Christ, in His final days, very clearly prayed for us as we go INTO the world. Because as Christ-following believers, IF we follow Him, that is exactly where He will lead us- into the world. We may not be OF it, but we can’t escape going INTO it, if we are following Him.
I give you John 17:14-19:
"I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth."
I’m not saying we shouldn’t protect our families from the immorality of the world. My parents protected me as best they could, and much of their “best” involved heavy praying. But if they had “protected” me to the point that they denied following Christ into scary godless territories, then they would have been sinning just as much as the sin they were trying to protect us from. It’s a far scarier thing to say no to Christ’s commission, to tell the Creator of the universe “NO!” to his face, than to be exposed to the perverted world that is an inevitable reality.
Reality: this is not your mama’s America anymore.
So why am I not offended by corporate bathroom policies, or any policies that infringe of my safety or my kid’s safety? First, I’m just not surprised. It’s hard to be offended when you aren’t surprised or caught off guard. Second, I don’t feel my kids are safe from “the world” anywhere, anyway.
We lived in Brazil for two years. Not once during those two years was I worried about my kids’ safety. Was I worried I would get mugged? Absolutely. Did I adjust my habits to protect myself and my family from potential muggings? Absolutely. I never carried a purse, I never talked on the phone or allowed myself to look distracted while commuting places, I tucked my money (and ID’s) all over my body and never carried a wallet with me. I was mentally prepared that at some point I would be mugged. I never was, but I was prepared for it in case it happened.
But muggings aside, I never feared for the safety of my children while we were in Brazil. There is a special place in prison for anyone that would harm a child there. Children are cherished and guarded. I never feared for their safety.
Fast forward to the day we set foot on American soil again. Did I fear I would be mugged anymore? Absolutely not. Did I instantaneously fear for my children’s safety? Yes. Yes, I did. America is not a safe place for children. Depending on the day and location, I still make my 8 year old son come in the women’s restroom with me. And we utilize the heck out of family restrooms wherever we go, if they have them. That is how I protect my children.
Reflecting on the outcry against Target’s policies lately, I’m not worried about my kids being exposed to transgender individuals, or the current transgender protection policies, for several reasons:
1) I’m not worried that any transgender individual is going to harm my child. I’m just not. I AM however worried about child predators and perverts using transgender protection policies to their advantage. I AM worried about laws that will protect despicable people who do despicable things to me or my family. SO, just like how I protected myself from muggings in Brazil, and just like how I protect my children from predators while Stateside, my future public restroom habits will take into consideration the safety of the world we live in, and I will prepare and protect my family accordingly.
2) My kids are eventually going to see things they consider shocking anyway, and being able to guide them and discuss these issues with them at an early age allows me to be the one in control of their perspective on the world. Statistically speaking, my 8 year old will be exposed to porn within the next two years. Lord, I pray that isn’t true for him, but according to statistics this is the age when he will start to see things I don’t want him to see. Will I protect him as much as I can? Yes. Will I be surprised when he does eventually see porn for the first time? No. Will I start preparing him, even now, for the things he will see in the not so distant future? Yes. Absolutely.
3) If I see anything taking place in a restroom that I don’t particularly want my kids being exposed to... you can bet I’ll pull a Linda Lee (my mom) and high tail it out of there, whispering “avert your eyes”.
4) Once upon a time Christians didn’t even talk about anything sinful. That is a bad plan. We need to address the world head on and shape our children’s perspectives according to scripture. I don’t want my kids to be surprised when they hear of governmental corruption, or of lying salesmen, or of people living in adultery or sexual sin, or of condoned murder (abortion). I want them to be aware of sin and know what scripture says about sin. I want them to see sin and respond with loving and tender hearts, “Wow, that person needs Jesus in their life, let me go take their hand and walk with them, and show them what Jesus has done for me,” not with “Ew, that person needs to get in church and change. Somebody tell that person they are a sinner!”
5) The world is coming to us. Are we going to run away and flee these opportunities? I live in the Bible Belt and many of the people I know say they don’t know any non-believers, or believers living in the oppressive bonds of sin. That is ludicrous. I’m a sinner myself and goodness knows I need help. If I can put up a decent façade, being as bad of a person as I know that I am, then shoot…. there has GOT to be a lot of other needy people out there too. Surely, I’m not the only one. Policies like these help roll back the layers of lies where we have convinced ourselves that as long as we don't "see" sin, it doesn't exist. Sin is everywhere, people. If anything, policies like these will help open your eyes to the reality that has always existed. Secular America isn't inviting sin in, they are just turning on the lights so you can see it. We have been fooled into a false sense of security, which means there is going to be a fair amount of stress when we come to grips with the reality of our need to proactively prepare and guide our children as they face the world. Our guards can no longer be left down.
American Christians are so afraid of the American Church becoming persecuted and their Christian values and lifestyles becoming condemned, but as someone who has been all over the world let me tell you something, the persecuted Church is thriving while the blind American Church is dying. Honestly, that should come as no surprise to you whatsoever. Scripture says that if the Church is authentic it WILL face persecution. If anything, the American Church has been lying to itself about what "Church" should be like.
All of those points are to say, bathroom policies, or any other secular policies set forth in secular America, are inevitable. Not that we shouldn't fight them or stand firm agains them as best as we can, but there comes a point when the inevitable becomes reality. I could have fought the reality of muggings in Brazil and carried my purse and phone with me everywhere, but that would have just left me mugged on the side of the street. When we face realities we don’t like, we can deny them, or we can prepare, guard, and protect ourselves, and our families, from them. We can use these opportunities, or be defeated by them.
Should we protect our children from outside harm? ABSOLUTELY. Should we shape their views as they are exposed to the disturbing realities of this world? ABSOLUTELY. Should we protect their innocence as much as possible? ABSOLUTELY. But there is a reality that, in following Christ to the dark and lost places of this world, they will see things we never wanted them to see. Following Christ is not “safe”. Not for us. Not for our children. There is a great danger in ignoring all of the evil of this world: If our kids are not educated in the predatory nature of Satan, if they are not trained in how to identify him and spot evil, or trained in how to fight evil, then the first chance Satan has he will whisk them away and they won’t even known it’s happened. I am NOT saying go funnel your kids into the restrooms of the opposite gender, or subscribe to porn so they can see the world in all of it’s stained glory. I’m saying, when “the world” walks through your front door, as it has in present-day America, take that opportunity to educate your children. Teach them how to protect themselves. Guide them in the ways of the Word.
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
I feel like Christians are mad that this is not their mama’s America anymore, but though I hate to say it, that America left a long time ago. I’m not saying we should just give in to a godless future, but scripture clearly tells us what direction the world is headed and that we cannot stop the ship. What we CAN do is be lights in the darkness. We can shine a light on the future and show the lost world where their ship is headed. The ship is pointed one direction and one direction alone, whether we like it or not. Mutiny will get you nowhere. But handing out life vests, readying the escape rafts, and telling the people WHY we need rescuing, will make a difference.
In closing, once again, this is not your mama’s America.
America is “the world”. We can take this moment to face it, to show our children how to face it, or we can cover our eyes and ears and pretend it isn’t. I can tell you now that the latter is a waste of time.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.
**One tiny edit I felt the need to include, because this is a foreseeable reality: as these secular corporate policies make their way into our school systems, you will likely find me a lot more upset and eager to fight them, because that is where my kids spend the majority of their week without me and where I cannot as easily protect them. That said, in following with the sentiments of my above post, I would fight the change as much as I could, and at the point where I realize it makes no difference, I will resume homeschooling which I've taken a break from. There is always a choice, and if we are concerned enough, we have the power to make the hard choices.